Wanting the Impossible
by The.Beautiful.And.The.Damned
Summary: Prophecy for Hermione. Not what she expected. Reading her journal- find out all the twisted inner workings of such a drastically awesome coupling when it is so unexpected. DM/HG, HG/RW. STRICT One-Shot.


**Author's Note: **I hope that you do not feel the same way, but I myself refuse to read back over this because I feel it is not quite right.. However, I am posting it thanks to the beautiful 'Jay' and the craziness bought about by new 'Mom' 'do. (Hehe) So I really hope that you like it. If you are unable to get the general gist of the thing, Hermione has had a prophecy from Professor Trelawney that she will end up with Draco Malfoy, but she thought she was in love with Ron Weasley. Below are her thoughts etc. poured out in diary form. Read, review- I'll reply!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter… I still don't own Harry Potter… Oh, now I do!... Nope, there it goes again…

**Wanting the Impossible**

Hermione Granger sidled up to the window ledge to watch the drops of rain slide down the frosted window. Her breath warmed a peep-hole, and she gazed over the school grounds against the dark night sky. Summoning her quill, she looked down at the blank pages of her diary, lying open before her. Sighing, she took to the paper with a ferocity that surprised even her.

_Dear Diary,_

_It's the third day of summer and it hasn't stopped raining. The thunder woke me early this morning, rattling the common room and causing Crookshanks to dive beneath my covers. I didn't mind, though. I slept a lot better with the pattering of rain against the windows, and I needed to sleep._

Here Hermione paused. It had been a long, long time since she'd slept properly. Worries disturbed her mind, and she found it incredibly frustrating when, at two in the morning, she couldn't sleep due to circumstances beyond her control.

_My thoughts kept me up most of the night, and it was nearly dawn by the time I got to sleep properly. I couldn't stop wondering about what the future held. Was I really destined to marry..._

Draco Malfoy. Of all the people Professor Trelawney could have predicted for her future husband, it had to be the one person she knew she couldn't have. And of course, she would never have paid attention to anything _she_ had to say, because…

_Draco Malfoy. I _hate_ Professor Trelawney. The one time I actually manage to listen to anything she has to say, she says something that I would much rather have never heard anything about. But I guess that the only reason I _did_ listen was because I knew that there was some truth in what she was saying. If I manage to admit to myself that the only reason I really like Ron is because I know that I can't have Draco, then it all makes perfect sense. _

_But I can't do that._

The stubbornness in Hermione's nature had run rampant over the last few weeks. She couldn't admit her true feelings, because they would surely wreak havoc with everything that her life was supposed to be.

_I'm supposed to be the responsible one. The one who everyone can rely on to stay the same, no matter what happens. If Harry knew, I think he'd die of shock. If Ron knew, I think Malfoy would die due to Ron's shock. Why is it that you only ever want the one thing that you know you can't have?_

_Or love the one person that you never wanted to love?_

Since day dot, Hermione and Draco had been worlds apart. They could (quite frankly) not have been any more different. She was everything he had been taught to hate in the world. A mudblood, of all the treacherous, foul things. And he was a pureblood, a Malfoy, no less.

_I can't love him. I won't, if it comes to that. He's made me and my friend's lives hell from the very beginning of my life in the wizarding world._

Why was it that she still found him so appealing, then?

_But when he passes me in the corridor, and when he traps me in dark corners, daring me to be scared of him, I can feel nothing but curiosity. His eyes allure me to look into them, and I find myself wondering what it would be like to kiss him._

To kiss Draco Malfoy, or not- that is the question. To listen to a prophecy and worry and fret over it as much as she had, or to ignore the (most probably) fake words that had plagued her mind since she had heard them.

Was she only so concerned because she thought that Professor Trelawney was wrong… or because she was right?

_But at the same time the idea repulses me, and I disgust myself for even wondering about the contemptible action. It would be pure betrayal. Like kissing death itself, or lies and hate in human form. I would not allow myself to fall for the devil._

_After all, I am _Hermione Granger_, for Merlin's sake. _

She could worry as much as she liked, though, because she knew that she didn't really have a choice. There was magic in the world, she knew that better than anyone, but fate was the most powerful force she had ever found… _or_ had the misfortune to meet.

_But if it happens, know that it is against my power. We cannot help who we fall in love with. Though I seriously doubt I could ever fall for Draco Malfoy, so did I never think that I would end up loving Ron Weasley._

It had seemed as though they were a pre-destined couple until the prophecy. Now, she could barely look at him for fear of him being able to see into her soul, and dare to cast his eyes upon the grimy idea of her ever being with Draco Malfoy. The very thought sent shivers up her spine.

She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean.

_But is it right to ignore those feelings? And then again, is it right to ignore a prophecy over my supposed feeling for Malfoy? _

_Perhaps I am just being paranoid, and ought to leave the idea to rest, and let fate play his games with me as much as he likes; but I cannot do anything about it right now. I can't bring myself to on the grounds of pure ethics, as much as I cannot for my dislike of the whole general situation._

_I will not let an impossibility (as much as it may be possible, for now it shall be called an impossibility as I cannot embrace the fact that I may someday be married to my worst enemy) take control over my life, and consume me until I am driven mad by the possession of such vulgar thoughts._

She decided that the best thing to do was to leave the matter to run its course, and simply see where she ended up. She needed to sleep, and she could not whilst she was obsessing over it.

She needed to live her life for now, as she saw fit. Living for the moment, one could not afford to worry over the future, for it is full of uncertainties, and want of the impossible.

_The idea _is_ vulgar, after all, and I am not a vulgar person. I don not wish to live a vulgar life. I will not hand myself over to a life of deception and evil. I will not succumb to the illusion of Draco Malfoy. I will not place my life in the hands of the one person I detest most in this world._

_How can I love that?_

_Ever yours,_

_Hermione_

**Please, please let me know what you think- no matter what it IS that you think.**

**Dramione Rox!**

**Gabbi xx**


End file.
